More than 2.5 million grandparents take on role of parent.

These are supposed to be their golden years. They worked hard, earned a decent living and raised their family. Now it's time to relax and reap the benefits of a life well livedBut not for those who have had to take on the responsibility of raising grandchildren. Their golden years have been put on hold as they have begun another cycle of child-rearing.

. The number of grandparents who provide primary care for their grandchildren is growing. Nationwide, more than 2.5 million grandparents are taking on the responsibility of raising grandchildren in what the AARP calls "grandfamilies."

Demands and fears

Grandparent caregivers may feel that they can't keep up with their grandchildren because they are in poor health or because the children are so active. "Kids are hard enough to raise when you're younger but when you're older …," said the 64-year-old Kling, who lives in Dover.

Grandparents raising grandchildren must also deal with a welter of emotions, including anger, resentment and guilt. "For one thing, all of their plans for retirement go out the window," Pierson said.

They may also feel they have been robbed of the traditional grandparenting experience. "If the kids are going to grow up healthy, they have to add that additional layer (of discipline)," Nelson said. "It makes it less fun."

And grandparents may feel that they themselves have failed as parents. "They may feel a sense of shame and worry that it says something about the parenting of that (adult) child," Pierson said.

Raising grandchildren can also cause difficulties with other family members. "The other adult children may resent their parents that are putting out money and resources to take care of the sibling who is not living up to their responsibilities and they may feel that those grandchildren are more important to the grandparents," Pierson said.

Support is essential

Becoming a parent again can be an overwhelming experience, but it can also be a rewarding one with the proper support. Experts agree that grandparents can benefit from sharing their concerns and needs with others in support groups.

Experts also recommend that grandparents take care of their health and make time for themselves.

They should also reach out to family and friends for help. "Even people who live far away can do some things like make phone calls about resources or send a coupon for a massage," Pierson said.

Grandparents who assume the responsibility of raising their grandchildren have a unique opportunity to play an important role in their grandchildren's lives. "We're talking about shaping another human being's life and giving these kids a chance at having a more promising future," Pierson said.

Quick Tips

-- Acknowledge your emotions and find safe ways to express those feelings.

-- Take care of yourself and try to get some "alone" time every day.

-- Make time for your spouse or partner.

-- Consult with an attorney and financial planner.

-- Set limits and rules for your grandchildren and teach them interpersonal skills. Consider counseling to help them cope with their feelings.

-- Ask family and friends for help and utilize existing resources.

Resources:

 Facciolo, C. ( 2012) More than 2.5 million grandparents take on role of parent. Retrieved on Feb 26, 2013 from the USA Today website: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/story/2012-04-12/rise-of-granparents-grandfamilies/54206854/1